what's one more...

I am going to write this now, because I never ever thought that I would feel this way after birthing, loving, nurturing (occasionally ranting & raving too) four, hang on "FOUR", that's better, children! So I have "FOUR" adorable children, what?, well they are right at this minute, because they are all fast asleep...

Anyway, you see our baby is turning one! I am almost sad that he is turning one, and I know I should be celebrating his journey so far, but I would like him to stay my gorgeous little bubba forever... Snugly in my arms or perched on my hip, as heavy as he gets, I love the time you get to share with your babes at this tender innocent age. I have loved it with all my children.

I have always been told by older Mama's, how fast it goes and to enjoy those tender early years, & I can honestly say I have! If there was ever a piece of advice that I have taken on board, it's been that... So thank you for your pearls of wisdom!

Those that know me personally know that we were quite content with three children, but were blessed ( I can say that now as a survivor!) with darling no. 4! WE LOVE HIM UNDENIABLY TO THE MOON & BACK & BACK AGAIN!!!!!!!!!
Just had to let you know, because it can seem that a surprise pregnancy can look as though that child was unwanted, but that is certainly not the case! I was shocked & possibly suffering from some denial at first when finding out of his pending arrival, but we fast become attached to our bubba growing in my belly *love*.

I guess my initial fear was just like any Mama's;

How will I cope?

What if I am no good at juggling 4 little ones lives?

Will I ever sleep again?

Will I be able to spread my arms & lovin' around them all, & darling husband?

How will darling husband cope with "FOUR" (ba ha ha ha... thought he would never have children - *fail*)?

Will my hair ever be washed again?

I think you can see where we were at during the walk down this road. Probably like the story of many expectant parents...

So where are we now? Well, darling husband, is happy and contented with his larger than expected brood, and so is Mama. BUT.... here it comes... Well the other day, I saw a newborn!!!!! ARRRGGGGHHHH I was smitten, I had this undeniable urge to be there again.. we have 4, so what's 5? Well there will be no No. 5 from me, but it made me realise that I will probably be eternally clucky and in love with that new baby phase. It also made me want to slow down the spinning of this universe, so that I can enjoy my babies, each & every minute & moment with them all... I have been guilty of being impatient, cranky & all the things that come with being Mama, but I try my best to be the best!

Today from here on in... I am going to take longer deep breathes when I feel uptight or frustrated at the goings on around me & try to make all of our moments & minutes my 'best'... I do not want to miss a minute with our darling children, they are almost 9 & 7yrs and 4 & 1yr, in 6 more sleeps...

For now, I will suppress the urge to have more babies, because I have so many special things to cherish with & about the "FOUR" we are so very blessed to have!

I am off to watch them sleep...

Mama xx