Monday, November 28, 2011

Just in case you were concerned for their safety...

I may have been having a bit of a rough time of late because of my little Fuckers  Darlings.... But just to reassure those of you concerned for their safety, I can advise that no children were harmed in the making of my previous post. They were all fed, bathed and put to bed safely!!

Unfortunately for me there was no chocolate in the house, god knows I even looked under the beds!!! Meaning of course that I could not attempt the entire block in one go!! But for now, that can remain my challenge on the list of things to do before my earth side departure!!

The baby was awake at 5.50am ummmmm AM!!!!! yes 5.50AMMMMMMMM, not really any better, but after feeding him I let him loose in the house!!

My darling husband, whom I will be keeping at this stage, returned from 12 hours night shift & closed our bedroom door to leave Sleeping Beauty get some much needed rest!! The poor bloke was probably fearing for his own safety at this point, and to be honest I don't blame him.... GOD LOVE HIM though, he is very afraid thoughtful... Love you!!

Darling husband then got the kids ready for School, they wanted a lunch order & offered up their own money to fund it!!! Did you just read that??? They offered up their own money to fund it!! Probably be asked to reimburse them later this arvo.....

So with the baby & Kinder boy & School kids all taken care of, he set them up to play in Kinder boys bedroom & fell fast asleep in the bed.... There he lay snoring his head off, poor bugger just worked 12 hours, so we will give him some rest now...

Sleeping Beauty awakes to silence.... Wooooo she gets her wish, only to be told upon entering the room "I am hungry"!!!! I responded calmly, "that's no good, did you eat breakfast?" "yes Mum, but I want something that I haven't had before" "Ummm what would that be?" "A music bar", again I responded calmly, "your not having a muesli bar it's still breakfast food time"...... Oh dear God, and the argument continued....... Is it groundhog day?????????

Later that morning, Darling Husband is awoken by the soft tickle of a texta!!!!! The wall had also received a soft tickle, the toy box, the door & the carpet!!!!!!!!! Looks like someone forgot to shut the door after all and Mama will need to attend!! I walked into the laundry to get a towel and some water....Oh how fabulously FUCKED wonderful, the washing machine hose is leaking water, the cupboard is full of water and so is the floor!! Of course I am curious to see just how much water may be in that cupboard & with the door slightly ajar, I was greeted by the Hick's very own Niagara!! How lucky, our own waterfall..... I decide to turn off water, throw some towels at said water and walk straight back out of the room, shutting the door behind me!! What else is there to do?? I proceed to the kitchen to grab a coffee and then tell you all how wonderfully my day is going... Thank You for your concern!

Kinder boy is still asking for the Music bar, and Mama is pretending she cannot hear a thing!

Apologies to the China man I must have mowed down in a hurry to somewhere, I swear I did not even see the black cat crossing my path, perhaps it was when I was walking under the ladder to clean up the broken mirror!!!!

May tomorrow be pleasantly fantastic for all Mama's & Papa's for that matter!!

Mama xx

Sunday, November 27, 2011

From here to insanity...

I will warn you in advance, that this post may appear random and possibly like I am teetering on the edge of God only knows what!! It may contain frequent course language & an I don't give a shit attitude. I will be writing from over here in the doldrums, but please don't ask me if I am OK, because I will almost certainly cry at you, on you, or any other two word sentence, ending in you...

I know that being a  Mother is meant to be magical & the most amazing thing I will ever experience in my life, but for the last 24 hours, I am wishing magic would just take them to the park for ohhhhhh let me see, a week!!!! Yes I love my children & they are my everything, but....... (oh good lord strap on your seat belts cos' I am off....) And there will be exclamation marks!!!!!!

I would like to wake up to silence in my own good time, 6am is not my own good time!!! I do not want to hear the baby crying, or the older kids yelling and fighting over nothing!! I actually don't even care who started it first, because it takes two to tango, and quite possibly you are actually a gay la-la!!!!

I have not a care that you are hungry and you would like me to cook you pancakes, make your own food, it's about time you learnt!! You are never be too young to try.....

"What's that", oh you've done a poo!!! Well that's fucken brilliant!! The kid has done a poo, let's all celebrate!! You see that white stuff called paper..... Well wipe your own bum, because I already know how!! *insert poker face tongue hanging out here* Oh and if you are too lazy to wash your hands and you get sick, well don't say I didn't warn you!!

Did you know that 1/2 litre of milk into a bowl of ummmm 60gm of cereal is excessive!!! "What's that again", Ohhhhh you have managed to spill it on the floor (1 millionth time this year but who's counting dickhead!!) Oh never mind, you now have about the right ratio in your bowl... and besides you love to clean, I can tell by the state of your room!!

Your bowl does not magically bring itself to the sink, just like you do not magically disappear to the park for a week!

It really is not that hard to get dressed when you have a School uniform hanging in your wardrobe just waiting to be put on your body, but somehow an hour goes by and I can still see your bum!!!! One sock is not a pair, so put the other one on your fucking foot before I ram it down your throat!!! Yes you need jocks, and turning your socks inside out because they are your favourite is not acceptable hygiene!!!

I understand the baby is crying, what's frickin new, he needs me!!!

Close the toilet door, babies and toilets DO NOT MIX, neither do bathrooms, laundries, pantries or rubbish bins!!! If you do not want "the stupid baby" in your room, YOU close the door, "you stupid kid!!!!"

Throwing yourself at my feet in a tantrum makes me think twice about stepping on you, it does not make me feel sorry for you...

I do not want to play the DS, it is annoying, and one would have thought, that the amount of time you spend on it, you would know how to charge it, get onto Mario Kart & find the right track!!!!!!!

I know your hungry, whats new??????

"A drink" I here you say, well there is the bloody tap!!!

Dirty clothes look great in the laundry, not all over your room!

Yes there are days I breath a sigh of relief when you exit the car to School...

Yes there are days I breath a sigh of relief when you exit the car to Kinder...

No!! Grunting is not human speak, and I have no idea what you want when you do it, in fact it irritates me!!

Just in case you were deluded..... I DO NOT LOVE cleaning up your mess, washing clothes, vacuuming, washing dishes, packing & unpacking the dishwasher & all the things I do to make our home a tidy, hygienic space!

No, I am not keeping a logbook & attempting to get my licence again, so driving you here, there and everywhere is of no benefit to me!!

Oh, "I don't care", is that right???, well how about you just shove off then!!!!!

Clothing, Schooling, Toys, Dancing, Basketball, Swimming Lessons etc etc etc are not free! That tree out the back is called a Gum tree not money tree!

If it ain't broke, I will not be fixing it & definitely not replacing it, so stop asking!!

When I have slaved over the stove, and serve you up a deliciously nutritious meal, only to have you say, without even trying a mouthful mind you, "that's disgusting!!!", I expect you to the the whole fucking lot!!!! Well the next time you make something for me that you are proud of, I might just try saying "well that's just crap!!" "Is that the best your small hands could do???", "never mind there is always next time in art!" "Oh look, you got some spelling mistakes, "well who's a dumb dumb"..... Yeah don't think you would like that my friend!!

Yes I love it when you go to sleep, because it's quiet...

And just for the record, I do eat chocolate & sweets (may even attempt the whole block tonight) when you go to bed!! Ha ha there I said it, so now you know!!

Yes I love my children, they are my everything, my consuming passion it seems!
Swearing is not for you to do, it is my prerogative only, do as I say, not as I do!!

ummmm derrrrrrrrr....

Cheers to motherhood!! and I am only Cheersing so that I have a valid excuse to raise a very full glass, of something very strong!

Oh and just one more for the record..... just because I give one child something, does not mean that I love them more, and should not evoke an enormous uproar!! If I gave him poo, you would fight over that I am certain!!

Have you ever stopped and pondered? Well I guess it's a given that you haven't stopped, because if your a parent, there is no stopping!! But when we recently built our home, my darling husband asked me what my perfect room would consist of.. I proceeded, white!! I would have white walls, white sofa, white furniture & there would be complete silence... He laughed "Geeze Rob, you just described a padded cell!!!"

So I have decided to resign from my current position in the house as Mama, I have tried it, and have decided that I am just not cut out for the job!! Anyone interested? No please, don't rush....

Well here's to my unemployment or retirement & insanity!!

Please feel free to leave a comment or tell me how your day is??? I may or may not give a shit!!

Hick xx

Friday, November 18, 2011

the hometown advantage...

I guess with 4 active little ones, we really do get to spend copious hours breathing in fresh air & feeling the sand between our toes, and other places too, how does it even get in there??? But that aside, we would average a trip to the beach at least once a week. The older kids love to peruse the shore when its too cold to swim, so say about -1 degree, because really as you would know, it is never too cold to swim when your a kid right? I can even remember being this way myself, way back when...

We, well the kiddies mainly, gather up shells, build sand castles, have running races, the resident ballerina is always strutting some moves and then there is the watching of the enormous ships coming into the bay on there way to the docks, the kids are always so curious as to what may be inside. They talk about how fabulous it would be if a shipping container fell off and we got to keep all the cool things inside, some want motorbikes, cars, toys, bikes, a horse (good lord I hope he can swim!!), and the list goes on and on....

And when the temperature is above -1 degree of course they are frolicking and surfing and snorkeling & generally having a blast!! Even bubs is curious about what lies beneath the sea these days and is always keen to get his toes wet! Our days are pretty much spent like this...

He has this face, because he just tried eating that shell in hand, verdict, hard and salty!!

Maybe he will give this scrumptious looking sand a go!!

Ahh now that's the life...

My sweet little guy *love*

OK, so were am I headed with all this? Well just last night as an after school cool down and to wear the kids out, we went down to our lovely local beach, or no. 7's as the kids call it. We generally take the same spot, because there is never a huge crowd there.
But this night, there was another lovely Mama and her sweet Missy 6, but almost 7, that's very important the almost 7....
The kids were playing and having a blast, and I started to chat to Missy 6 almost 7's Mama, only to actually find out that her sweet girl had never ever been to a beach before, never swum in the ocean, never felt the sand, or built a sand castle!!!

I was shocked and astounded, but oh so very grateful for the life we have. I am pretty sure that all of my children have experienced the beach withing the first few weeks of life, maybe not the ocean, but they have at least felt the sand, and smelt the saltey water drifting in with the sea breeze.

Missy 6 almost 7 was thrilled to be at the beach, and was lovin' hanging with the Hick gang, and certainly was a confident sweet thing for her virgin voyage to the beach!

Thankful, yes, Grateful, yes, and oh so very lucky to be living this life, and I do believe we have the hometown advantage!

What is your hometown advantage?

Mama xx

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Wordless Wednesday but posted Thursday???

Well apparently I was not peddling fast enough to keep the generator going, what no Internet again 'T' word *insert large telecommunications company name here* But let's just pretend that it's still Wednesday, why not, I mean It's only taken about 18 hours to complete this post... Oh the joys of living without ADSL!!

I think you all know the drill by now, if you would like to comment and leave your own link for Wordless Wednesday, that would be lovely.... please do! Then everybody can share in Wednesdays happenings...

The School Project!


Tuesday, November 1, 2011

i won't be long...

I was sure I said "will you be OK with the boys for 20 minutes or so, I need to grab some groceries"....
I was sure I heard him say "yeah that's cool, see you soon". I am sure that is what I heard him say...

Perhaps his idea of being OK and mine are varied, but allowing the boys to play in the cold fire ash... hmmmmm laugh or cry!

You will notice the pics are when they are almost safely in the bath!!

What do you think?

Culprit No. 1
Hmmm, he is not really that keen!

Yep still not keen!

Oh and the ash all over the pants comes with climbing in the Chimenea!! Oh darling husband what were you thinking, or what were you doing at this point in time ??

Culprit No. 2
Seems very pleased with his conquers!

Fierce but dirty!!

What's that?? You want your clothes off??
Bath Time!!!!!!

Next time I leave them home with Dada, I may just dress them in full wet weather gear & face masks....
But they did appear to be having fun.. Here's to the next adventure & infinity & beyond!!

Mama xx